by Dawn

Mother’s Day Mantra

[Grabs the fat of my right thigh with both hands and starts squeezing and mashing them together…]

Dean: Whoa Mommy! The muscles in your legs are so big!!! Is that why you eat so much ice cream? They’re huge!! And squishy! Even your bones are squishy!

Mommy: [whispers quietly through gritted teeth] I’m so happy to be a mom, I’m so happy to be a mom, I’m so happy…

 

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by Dawn

Master Baker

Dean: What are we making Mommy?

Mommy: We are making red velvet cookies.

Dean: Have you ever made them before?

Mommy: I have tried a few recipes, but I wasn’t really happy with them. So today we are trying something new.

Dean: Or maybe you just aren’t a very good baker.

[ I have no son ]

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by Dawn

Dueling Careers

While staying at The Hard Rock Hotel in Orlando

Dean: Mom, that was cool with that band down there!

Mommy: Yeah?

Dean: When I grow up I’m gonna be in a band!

Mommy: Really?

Dean: Yeah! I’m going to be a police officer and a band guy!

[ Oh good sweetie… then you can arrest yourself after you trash a hotel room. You are already really good at that part ]

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