by Dawn

Goodnight Foot

Dean: Mommy, my foot hurts right here.

Mommy: It probably fell asleep because you were sitting on it.

Dean: It’s not waking up!!!

Mommy: Well maybe it’s past your foot’s bedtime.

Dean: Hmmm. What time is it?

Mommy: It’s 7:10 PM.

Dean: Oooooh! That makes sense… My foot’s bedtime is 6:02 PM

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by Dawn

Can You Hear Me Now?

[From another room…]

Dean: Daddy! [unintelligible mumbling]

Me: He can’t hear you; he’s in the kitchen.

Dean: Mommy [unintelligible mumbling]

Me: I can’t hear you either. Just come talk to me if you need something buddy.

Dean: BuuuUUUURRRRRPP!

Me: …

Dean: Did you hear that mom?!

 

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by Dawn

From the Moms

Astrid’s Mom: At dinner, I asked the girls what they are thankful for. Astrid responded, “I’m thankful for Dean because he is going to marry me.”

Dean’s Mom: Something to be said for a girl who knows what she wants.

Astrid’s Mom: Or one day she’ll boil his bunny a la fatal attraction.

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by Dawn

Pants!

Mommy: I know you don’t like jeans, and I respect that, but it is going to be really cold today. Maybe you should at least change into gym pants.

Dean: But… shorts!

Mommy: I know kiddo. Do you remember last night when your legs were cold? A pullover won’t help that.

Dean: [thinks a few beats… maybe… ] Okay. I’ll just wear long socks then.

@#%^&!!! Why won’t you wear pants?!

Photo of Dean in shorts with a hooded sweatshirt and soccer socks.

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by Dawn

Exact Change

Dean: Emma is just turing 6 right?

Mommy: Yup.

Dean: But I’ve been six for awhile.

Daddy: Yeah…

Dean settles comfortably back into his car seat.
Dean: Yeah… I’m like, six and a half.

Daddy: Not quite Buddy. You won’t be six and a half until February. It’s more like you are six and a quarter.

Dean: Well… I could be six and a dime.

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by Dawn

Don’t Bogart That Cheese My Friend

Dean leaves the kitchen to get ready for bed. I track his progress down the hallway and quickly reach for a block of cheese and set it on the counter.

Dean: What’s that mommy?

Oh no! He snuck up on me! He reaches for the cheese. So I pick him up and physically restrain him.

Dean: I want it! I want it! I want it!
He shouts playfully.

Me: You know you can’t have cheese buddy.

Dean: But I want some!

Me: …

Dean: Just a little?!

Me: It’s a slippery slope my friend.

Dean: Let me help you find the slicer.

Me: It’s okay, I’ve got it.

Dean: I could cut it for you Mommy.

Me: I got the cheese out after you left so that you wouldn’t see it, why don’t you just go get ready for bed.

He starts off down the hallway again but stops midway

Dean: You know Mommy… that cheese will go bad… I could help you eat it.

Smiling madly
Me: I love you. Get out of here.

Dean: You’re mean.

Me: But… I said I love you.

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