by Dawn

Jinx

Before walking out the door to leave, I start to say, “I love you—!” Able to tell what I was going to say, Dean joined in to finish, “SO mcuh!”

Dean: Jinx you owe me a hug!

Mommy: You don’t get to jinx me for that… you copied me!

Dean: Yeah, but I just like hugs. Especially from my mother.

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by Dawn

Squirrel!

In the bedtime story we are reading, the author mentions that the parents of one of the characters are divorced:

Dean: So if they got divorced, who kept Max-Ernest?
Mommy: They probably have shared custody. That’s how it worked when I was a kid. I lived with my Mommy and visited my Daddy every other weekend.
Dean: Can we not talk about this? It’s making me sad.
Mommy: Well, you brought it up, but sure.
Dean: Do you want to know why it’s making me sad?
Mommy: Of course, buddy. Why is this making you sad?
Dean: Because I have always wanted to meet your dad [breath] and it makes me sad that I can’t [breath] and thinking about being sad makes me want to cry [breath] and that’s why I just don’t like talking about it [breath]. Also, you have a hole in your shirt.

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by Dawn

The Know-It-All

Dean: Do you think I am wearing my PJ’s under this robe, Mommy?

Mommy: Yes

D: How do you know that?!

M: Moms know everything.

D: No they don’t!

M: You are right, we don’t know everything, but you know what I do know? [whispers] A lot!

D: You know what I know Mommy?

M: What’s that?

D: [whispers] I know that I love you!

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by Dawn

Good Morning Everybody!

This morning I couldn’t resist climbing into bed with Dean when I went to wake him up. As he stretched, he wrapped his arms around me and pulling me closer. It seemed like he was waking up but then he started mumbling unintelligibly and I thought for sure he was just talking in his sleep…

Dean: Good morning Mr. Nosal. Good morning Mr. Smelly.
Mommy: What are you saying, buddy?
Dean: I’m waking up Mr. Smelly and Mr. Nosal. [pointing to his nose and right eye respectively]
Mommy: Your eye is Mr. Nosal?
Dean: Yes. I am still trying to wake up Mr. Moseke [indicates his left eye]
Mommy: Oh?
Dean: And Hole Jr. just isn’t getting out of bed! [pointing to his left nostril]

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by Dawn

A Refined Palate

Dean: Can I had a treat Mommy?
Mommy: No buddy, you had an Icee earlier.
Dean: I can’t have anything else?!
Mommy: You could have applesauce. Or a carrot.
Dean: Nothing else?
Mommy: What else would you like?
Dean: Just… Just some delicious food.

 

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by Dawn

The Spirit of Christmas

Doing homework…

Dean: Mom, is this even right? Do you spell Christmas with a ‘C’ and an ‘H’?

Mommy: You sure do. Do you know what Christmas is really all abou—

Dean: Mommy! Mommy! I know!

Mommy: [Anxiously awaits a Dean pearl of wisdom]

Dean: It’s about presents!

[Whah-whah]

-31
by Dawn

Monster

[Imagine Dragons playing on the radio] “A monster, a monster, and it keeps getting stronger.”

Dean: [whispering, wide-eyed] Mommy. I think Daddy is a monster!

Mommy: [also whispering] Why would you say that?!

Dean: Because he just keeps getting stronger and stronger!!!

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by Dawn

The Truth

Me: Did that hurt at all?
Dean: No Mommy. I liked the stuff that made me breathe.
Me: I told you it would make you happy right?
Dean: Yeah! It was great!
Me: That’s why some people drink and take drugs. It makes you happy, but —
Dean: [Interrupts] – but you can’t do it all the time right Mommy? Because you would make yourself sick
Me: [Near speechless] Uh…. yeah.
Dean: And sometimes things will just hurt right?
[Whoa]

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