[Grabs the fat of my right thigh with both hands and starts squeezing and mashing them together…]
Dean: Whoa Mommy! The muscles in your legs are so big!!! Is that why you eat so much ice cream? They’re huge!! And squishy! Even your bones are squishy!
Mommy: [whispers quietly through gritted teeth] I’m so happy to be a mom, I’m so happy to be a mom, I’m so happy…
